10 Ways to Communicate Hell to Contemporary Culture

From the Book, You Can't Curl Your Hair with Holy Rollers, by Michael Nolan and Eve Sarrett [note this was published in 1993].

To get modern heathens to wake up and smell the coffee it has been suggested that you try these updated metaphors for what eternity in hell would be like. (If nothing more they are here for giggle and to provoke thought.)

1. Experiencing an eternal IRS audit.
2. Watching an endless slow-motion video of a BMW being scratched.
3. Being only chaperon on a junior high field trip.
4. Finding your cable TV stuck on The Weather Channel.
5. Sitting through every graduation ceremony on Planet Earth.
6. Listening to one 12-year-old teach another to play "Chopsticks".
7. Becoming a pork chop, and the devil is a pit bull.
8. Neighborhood blabbermouth learning the number of your cellular phone.
9. Living above a bowling alley.
10. Having to do telephone solicitation for a dance studio.

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