10 Ways to Communicate Hell to Contemporary Culture

From the Book, You Can't Curl Your Hair with Holy Rollers, by Michael Nolan and Eve Sarrett [note this was published in 1993].

To get modern heathens to wake up and smell the coffee it has been suggested that you try these updated metaphors for what eternity in hell would be like. (If nothing more they are here for giggle and to provoke thought.)

1. Experiencing an eternal IRS audit.
2. Watching an endless slow-motion video of a BMW being scratched.
3. Being only chaperon on a junior high field trip.
4. Finding your cable TV stuck on The Weather Channel.
5. Sitting through every graduation ceremony on Planet Earth.
6. Listening to one 12-year-old teach another to play "Chopsticks".
7. Becoming a pork chop, and the devil is a pit bull.
8. Neighborhood blabbermouth learning the number of your cellular phone.
9. Living above a bowling alley.
10. Having to do telephone solicitation for a dance studio.

'via Blog this'

Watts Wednesday - WHY DO WE MOURN DEPARTING FRIENDS?

Why do we mourn departing friends,
Or shake at death’s alarms?
’Tis but the voice that Jesus sends
To call them to His arms.

Are we not tending upward, too,
As fast as time can move?
Nor would we wish the hours more slow
To keep us from our love.

Why should we tremble to convey
Their bodies to the tomb?
There the dear flesh of Jesus lay,
And left a long perfume.

The graves of all His saints He blessed,
And softened every bed;
Where should the dying members rest,
But with the dying Head?

Thence He arose, ascending high,
And showed our feet the way;
Up to the Lord our flesh shall fly,
At the great rising day.

Then let the last loud trumpet sound,
And bid our kindred rise;
Awake, ye nations under ground;
Ye saints, ascend the skies.

Watts Wednesday - Christ's Dying, Rising, and Reigning

Luke 23:27,29,44-46; Mt. 27:50,57; 28:6ff. 

He dies! the friend of sinners dies!
Lo! Salem's daughters weep around;
A solemn darkness veils the skies;
A sudden trembling shakes the ground.

Come, saints, and drop a tear or two
For him who groaned beneath your load:
He shed a thousand drops for you,
A thousand drops of richer blood.

Here's love and grief beyond degree,
The Lord of glory dies for men!
But lo! what sudden joys we see;
Jesus the dead revives again!

The rising God forsakes the tomb!
The tomb in vain forbids his rise;
Cherubic legions guard him home,
And shout him welcome to the skies

Break off your fears, ye saints, and tell
How high our great Deliv'rer reigns;
Sing how he spoiled the hosts of hell,
And led the monster Death in chains.

Say, "Live for ever, wondrous King!
Born to redeem, and strong to save;
Then ask the monster, "Where's thy sting?"
And, "Where's thy vict'ry, boasting Grave?" 

Luke 23:27,29,44-46; Mt. 27:50,57; 28:6ff. 

He dies! the friend of sinners dies!
Lo! Salem's daughters weep around;
A solemn darkness veils the skies;
A sudden trembling shakes the ground.

Come, saints, and drop a tear or two
For him who groaned beneath your load:
He shed a thousand drops for you,
A thousand drops of richer blood.

Here's love and grief beyond degree,
The Lord of glory dies for men!
But lo! what sudden joys we see;
Jesus the dead revives again!

The rising God forsakes the tomb!
The tomb in vain forbids his rise;
Cherubic legions guard him home,
And shout him welcome to the skies

Break off your fears, ye saints, and tell
How high our great Deliv'rer reigns;
Sing how he spoiled the hosts of hell,
And led the monster Death in chains.

Say, "Live for ever, wondrous King!
Born to redeem, and strong to save;
Then ask the monster, "Where's thy sting?"
And, "Where's thy vict'ry, boasting Grave?" 

Watt's Wednesday - YE SONS OF ADAM, VAIN AND YOUNG

Ye sons of Adam, vain and young,
Indulge your eyes, indulge your tongue,
Taste the delights your souls desire,
And give a loose to all your fire;

Pursue the pleasures you design,
And cheer your hearts with songs and wine;
Enjoy the day of mirth, but know
There is a day of judgment, too.

God from on high records your thoughts,
His book records your secret faults;
The works of darkness you have done
Must all appear before the sun.

The vengeance to your follies due
Should strike your hearts with terror through:
How will you stand before His face,
Or answer for His injured grace?

Almighty God! turn off their eyes
From these alluring vanities;
And let the thunder of Thy Word
Awake their souls to fear the Lord.

Watts' Wednesday - Psalm 7

God's care of his people. My trust is in my heav'nly Friend, My hope in thee, my God; Rise, and my helpless life defend From those that seek my blood.

With insolence and fury they My soul in pieces tear, As hungry lions rend the prey, When no deliverer's near.

If I had e'er provoked them first, Or once abused my foe, Then let him tread my life to dust, And lay mine honor low.

If there be malice found in me, I know thy piercing eyes; I should not dare appeal to thee, Nor ask my God to rise.

Arise, my God, lift up thy hand, Their pride and power control; Awake to judgment, and command Deliverance for my soul.

[Let sinners, and their wicked rage, Be humbled to the dust; Shall not the God of truth engage To vindicate the just?

He knows the heart, he tries the reins, He will defend th' upright His sharpest arrows he ordains Against the sons of spite.

For me their malice digged a pit, But there themselves are cast; My God makes all their mischief light On their own heads at last.]

That cruel, persecuting race Must feel his dreadful sword: Awake, my soul, and praise the grace And justice of the Lord.

Watts Wednesday - Hymn 44

Hell; or, The vengeance of God. With holy fear and humble song, The dreadful God our souls adore; Rev'rence and awe become the tongue That speaks the terrors of his power. Far in the deep where darkness dwells, The land of horror and despair, Justice has built a dismal hell, And laid her stores of vengeance there. [Eternal plagues, and heavy chains, Tormenting racks, and fiery coals, And darts t' inflict immortal pains, Dyed in the blood of damned souls.] [There Satan, the first sinner, lies, And roars, and bites his iron bands; In vain the rebel strives to rise, Crushed with the weight of both thy hands.] There guilty ghosts of Adam's race Shriek out, and howl beneath thy rod Once they could scorn a Savior's grace, But they incensed a dreadful God. Tremble, my soul, and kiss the Son; Sinners, obey the Savior's call; Else your damnation hastens on, And hell gapes wide to wait your fall

On Worship

"Without the heart it is no worship. It is a stage play. It is an acting of a part without being that person, really. It is playing the hypocrite." - STEPEHEN CHARNOCK

Ringing in the New Year!

Happy New Years. May this year be filled with the grace, peace and joy that the Lord provides.

John 1:6-8 Outine

      John 1:6-8

1. God sends Individual
2. Those sent bear the Light
3. You only have to Testify

The Knots Prayer

Dear God,
Please untie the knots
that are in my mind,
my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots,
and can nots and the do nots
that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,
may nots,
might nots that may find
a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,
would nots and
should nots that obstruct my life.

And most of all,
Dear God,
I ask that you remove from my mind,
my heart and my life all the ‘am nots’
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought
that I am not good enough.
Amen.

(Author Known to God)

On Associations and Missions

Associational Mission work is like one man saying to another, "I am going the same way. Can I ride with you? I'll help pay for the gas." Many people do not understand that by working together we can accomplish more, go further, see more added to the Kingdom and God glorified.

Spurgeon on the 1689 Second London Baptist Confession

This little volume is not issued as an authoritative rule, or code of faith, whereby you are to be fettered, but as an assistance to you in controversy, a confirmation in faith, and a means of edification in righteousness. Here the younger members of our church will have a body of divinity in small compass, and by means of Scriptural proofs, will be ready to give an account for the hope that is in them. Be not ashamed of your faith; remember it is the ancient gospel of martyrs, confessors, reformers and saints. Above all, it is “the truth of God”, against which the gates of Hell cannot prevail. Let your lives adorn your faith, let your example adorn your creed. Above all live in Christ Jesus, and walk in Him, giving credence to no teaching but that which is manifestly approved of Him, and owned by the Holy Spirit. Cleave fast to the Word of God which is here mapped out for you.

                                            - Charles Spurgeon, in his preface to the 1689 London Baptist Confession

Who and Where Numbers on Evangelism

91% of all Christian outreach/evangelism does not target unevangelized countries, but countries that are already 95% evangelized.

- Barrett and Johnson, World Christian Trends


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Facts about the the Need for the Gospel in India

·                India, a secular and democratic country, is standing with population of one billion.

·                There are 3000 casts and sub-casts. 50% of the population has never heard the name of Jesus;

·                330 million gods are worshipped; Hinduism is the major religion with 85% of India’s population;

·                80% people live in 600,000 villages. 500,000 villages have no gospel workers or church.

·                Born again Christians are just 2% out of the expected 3.5% Christians; 55,000 people die each day eternally separated from Jesus Christ.

This years Fighter Verses focus on three important things: 1) The character and worth of our great God, 2)Battling against our fleshly desires, and 3)The hope of the Gospel.

Psalm 30 Outline - OMG - Oh My God

1-3 Oh My God Loves Me

4-5 Oh My God Is Praise Worthy

6-10 Oh My God I Am Foolish

11-12 Oh My God Has Changed Me

Are you sick of highly paid teachers?

Teachers' hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work 9 or10 months a year! It's time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do - babysit!

We can get that for less than minimum wage.

That's right. Let's give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after school. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45 to 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and plan-- that equals 6 1/2 hours).

Each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach in a day...maybe 30? So that's $19.50 x 30 = $585.00 a day.

However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them for any vacations.

LET'S SEE....

That's $585 X 180= $105,300

per year. (Hold on! My calculator needs new batteries).

What about those special

education teachers and the ones with Master's degrees? Well, we could pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to $8.00 an

hour. That would be $8 X 6 1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days = $280,800 per year.

Wait a minute -- there's

something wrong here! There sure is!

The average teacher's salary

(nation wide) is $50,000. $50,000/180 days

= $277.77/per day/30

students=$9.25/6.5 hours = $1.42 per hour per student--a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even EDUCATE your kids!) WHAT A DEAL!!!!

Make a teacher smile; repost this to show appreciation for all educators.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Fight like a Man - Memorize Philippians from a Moleskine

I began following and tweeting with guy named Timmy Brister a while back. Cool guy, good theology and a great love for the Lord and His people. Seen some good stuff coming out in his tweets. He answered a few tweets and sent me to some eye opening resources by Tim Keller. And then it happened. He posted about this crazy things called Partnering to Remember. He threw down the gauntlet to fight like a man and memorize the Book of Philippians for a moleskine notebook. The whole concept was exciting and scary at the same time. I loved the idea of doing it but I had been known as a kid the the Muppet character name of Forgetful Jones. I have always struggled with memorizing anything let alone scripture. I don't know my own phone number most of the time and there is no way that I could recall an old one like my wife can. So how I am going to do this. I am a bi-vocational pastor balancing family, work, shepherding, discipling, and rest so where do I fit this in. All I know it that I must. I accepted to join the challenge that is way bigger than me as Timmy has share that people from all over the world have join in. Its gone global. Resurgence has even gotten in on it. I will be partnering with with brothers and sisters all across the world to memorize the Book of Philippians. There is a great deal of positive stress to not fail and encouragement to struggle together to do it. So I am down. Are you? Join us!!!!

Go here to see what Partnering to Remember is about.

Been a while

it has been a while since i have posted,. lots in life. but now it seems to be the time to get back to it!

Noah's Notes: Some Things You Should Always Pray For

Noah's Notes: Some Things You Should Always Pray For: "Your government leaders -- 1 Timothy 2:1-4The salvation of the Lost -- Romans 10:1The advancement of the Gospel -- 2 Thessalonians 3:1More l..."